expectations vs. dreams

everyone knows the devastation of broken expectations.
and everyone tries to avoid setting themselves up for disappointments by not allowing themselves to expect anything.
but i would like to meet someone who has been successful at that.
it is impossible (at least for me) to go into a situation tabula rosa.
tv clips. conversations. pictures. classes. all these leave an imprint on your mind, even if you don't know it or want it there.

implicit and explicit expectations.
i tried my hardest not to have expectations, which wasn't entirely difficult on a specific basis (since i knew hardly anything about the trip), but i found that i had many.
you don't realize what expectations you had, until it is not met.
and in creeps the disappointment. failure feeling. and frustration.

we had a talk about these and i just wrote a paper about mine.
it was very helpful to identify them so that i can recognize that they may happen and God may have different plans. :)
also tonight my friend sarah talked about a "dream"
and that frame of mind is what i believe should be taken instead of creating an expectation of any situation (because who can honestly know what to expect!).
to have a dream is different than having an expectation.
because a dream is a hope or desire, that you wish to be fulfilled but are not counting on it or thinking it will complete your life.
an expectation on the other hand is something that you think will happen and assume that it will happen. so much so that when it doesn't you don't know how to feel or react.

it was a very enlightening though process for me.
as many of you know i can become very disappointed when an expected thing fails ot happen.
praise God!

explicit expectations for uganda:
to make friends with USP students
to grow in my relationship with God and concrete my faith
to know God's will for my life after this trip

i think now that those are dreams and hopes for my stay here.
but they cannot realistically be expectations because i have NO idea what God has me here for or what HE wants to do in me or through me.

implicit expectations (the ones you never knew existed until they are uncomfortable or different)
uganda (southern uganda to be specific) is not a destitute or hopeless country
kampala and mukono are not like the villages you see in Invisible Children
the people are not native, they are just like us in so many ways!

expectations can make or break anything, even my semester, so i am thankful that i have at least recognized the change in thought that needs to occur, and pray that i can APPLY this everyday so that i can have an open mind for what God has in store for me!